ASHLEY WE’RE GOING TO BE GONE FOR 3 DAYS!

riverpeople:

YOU DON’T NEED YOUR ENTIRE CLOSET AND 4 PAIRS OF SHOES!

GEEZUS!

Some things will literally never change omfg wow

Sometimes Ashley is a bitch.

riverpeople:

Sometimes she’s okay with it.

Lets Make Cake.

  • Ashley: Lets make cupcakes.
  • Me: Alriiiight.
  • Ashley: -gets out all the ingredients and then the cake mix-
  • Me: Why cake mix?
  • Ashley: So we can make cupcakes.
  • Me: NO NO NO NO NO! YOU CAN’T USE THAT CAKE MIX! WERE MAKING CUPCAKES! WE NEED TO USE CUPCAKE MIX!
  • Ashley: -looks at me like I'm retarded-

Tornado Warning Herp Derp

  • Laura: Guys, what if there's a funnel cloud? We gotta hide in a ditch!
  • Me: We're crossing a bridge! Where the hell is a ditch?!
  • Ashley: Under us... it's just filled with water.

The Adventure of Sitting on a Cliff

  • Ashley: What would you guys do if I just fell off of here?
  • Me: I would probably cry. But as long as you were making noise, I'd know you were alive, so I'd call an ambulance.
  • Ashley: What if there was a bone sticking out of me and I was screaming?
  • Laura: I'd laugh, then I'd make sure I got it on video so I could send it to Scarred.
  • Ashley: Hey!
  • Laura: That's what you guys get for throwing rocks at me!

So what if it's wrong?

  • Mom: We should take a picture of a really fat person, and put it next to a picture of you, and then put it on a website as like a "before and after".
  • Me: Why?
  • Mom: We could say we have some miracle weight loss supplement and sell it to people!
  • Me: Mom, that would be a scam.
  • Mom: I know.
  • Me: That's illegal!
  • Mom: But we should do it! We can make some extra cash on the side!

riverpeople:

wubwwubwub:

p0larbear:

why am i laughing so hard

when she sings that little bit I just died.

ROTFLOL

Is that all you do? Look up stupid stuff and pictures on the internet? — My Dad (via riverpeople)

Oh the voice mails that I get from my 7 year old niece.

  • Message 1: Hey Laura...I was trying to call you back...I asked my mom.. *slurp* ...if I could have a popsicle... *slurp* ...I got a popsicle.
  • Message 2: Hey Laura you're a jerk! Now call me back!
  • Message 3: Hey Laura, it's Lexi. So, my Mom said yes I could go on the trip. She said no don't bring me back a toucan. And she said you can keep me for a couple of days or like 10 weeks. Okay bye.
  • Message 4: Ello. This...is...Lexi. Um...*mumbles something and hangs up*
  • Message 5: Heyyyy Laura, it's Lexi. Um. My Mom said you could spend the night. And you can do all kinds of stuff like get on your computer here and...yeah. Okay bye.
  • Message 6: Laura...why won't you call me. I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND. This friendship; off. So, I hope your days are lonely.....Okay, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. It's just....I'm your best friend and you know it! So pleaseeeeee call me back.
  • Message 7: AUNT LAURA CAN I HAVE A TOUCAN?!
  • + about 20 more messages
Is that all you do? Look up stupid stuff and pictures on the internet? — My Dad (via riverpeople)

Ashley won't steal me a giraffe. :(

  • Me: BUT IT'S MY BIIIIIRTHDAYYYY!
  • Ashley: BUT IT'S THE REST OF MY LIFE!!

ASHLEY WE’RE GOING TO BE GONE FOR 3 DAYS!

riverpeople:

YOU DON’T NEED YOUR ENTIRE CLOSET AND 4 PAIRS OF SHOES!

GEEZUS!

acid-pikachu:

dudewheresmymustache:

thepartyrobot:

story of my life!

all the freaking time.

OMG. this fucking game lol

(via riverpeople)

When I decide to clean:

image

When I’m told to clean:

image

(via think-last)